


it all

by thealwaystired



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 00:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12445575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealwaystired/pseuds/thealwaystired
Summary: she had never thought she could feel that scared.





	it all

she had never thought she could ever feel that scared.

she had never thought she could ever feel that scared, though she had already been so scared so many times for so many reasons.

she had been so scared by her grief, her sadness, her courage, life itself, the possibility of losing it, hell, she had even been scared by love.

she had been so scared so many times.

yet, she had never felt as scared as she did right now.

no, she hadn’t even remotely had an idea that she could ever feel that scared.

 

now though.

now she was about to lose it all.

at least, that’s what it felt like. 

like she was literally about to lose it all.

 

the feeling of meeting someone for the first time and without a second-thought, you let them see right through you, put your heart and your trust and all your hope right there, lay it on the wodden coldness of the bar, leaving it there for her to take it because you’re sure she already knows you better than everybody who has been around you for years on end.

the feeling of not having to pretend, of not having to hide or hold back, of the smile and wave being real for the first time in years.

the feeling of smiling without noticing, smiling for no reason but a look, a touch, the tiniest second of hearing her voice.

the feeling of being enough with everything that is nothing but you, of being sure that that could never be changed no matter how big the change you might undergo.

the feeling of two eyes looking at you, observing each one of your moves and instead of it making you anxious, it makes you feel safer than you have ever felt before because her eyes are not on you only for her sake, but on a greater degree for yours, so she can make sure you are safe, you are okay at all times.

the feeling of breaking down in tears in arms that make sure you know you are not alone, always ready to leave if you need them to and hold you even tigther if that’s what you wanted.

the feeling of being touched and showered with affection and love in exactly the way you need it, not ever too much, not ever not enough, not ever too fast, not ever too slow, not ever too soon, not ever too late.

the feeling of being worth every single bit of time, effort, support, love.

the feeling of complete emptiness which she could fill with merely a touch, a look, a smile, a word.

the feeling of breaking into a million pieces and hurting so badly without ever feeling scared or in doubt that it will take from you what will always hold your pieces together and heal the pain, because her love is there, you can feel it lying ever so calmly underneath it all, no matter what.  
the feeling of feeling right, so simply right about it all, about what you do, what you say, what you decide to keep inside for the moment, what you decide to share, about what you feel, who you are.

the feeling of being overwhelmed by it all, your vision being cleared by her kisses on your temple that would never cease to give you the ability to see through the smoke and clouds.

the feeling of hardly being able to take any more, carry more weigth on your shoulders, but pushing through, strengthend by the firm belief that you can do it, which wouldn’t let fear take it’s place knowing that she will always take on and carry any weight for and with you if needed.

the feeling of steps you find hard to take along the way never being taken for you, but taken with you, her hand firmly holding yours.

the feeling of feeling it all, feeling it in the purest and rawest way, feeling it without filters or effects, feeling it all, feeling it exactly like it is, feeling it so deeply, you don’t think you could ever stop.

the feeling of feeling it all, feeling it in the purest and rawest way, feeling feeling feeling feeling so alive.

 

and here she was, barely able to make it out of the door on her own two legs, everything inside her falling apart, slowly fading away, leaving behind the emptiness fear has been waiting to fill.

fear telling her she was about to lose it all.

on the verge of losing her she felt like she was about to lose not only her and every way she made her feel, but also every memory they had already created, every bit of story already wirtten, every bit of life already lived.

on the verge of losing her love, she felt like she was losing it all.

she was about to lose it all.

she was about to lose it all and be left behind with nothing but nothing and that was what scared her in a way never thought to be possible.


End file.
